Hello, I Must Be Aging
Hello, I Must Be Aging
A few thoughts on a mid-fifties birthday
I turned 55 years old today.1 This means I have now officially aged past any demographic that is of concern to any trendy advertiser. And justly so, because let’s be blunt here — that’s old. Sure, better nutrition, health care, and personal care mean that some people today age way more gracefully than even a generation ago.2 Beyond not going bald, however, I fear I am not one of those people. I woke up this AM with multiple pains in my right foot due to myriad (albeit temporary) ailments, a twinge in my left shoulder from chronic ailments, an occasional cough that is the legacy effect of COVID, and a waistline that should be two inches smaller. I have to take one prescription medication a day. I’m told that only one is pretty great for someone my age, but my fear is that the number of meds can only go up in the future.
If this all sounds like I am depressed, rest assured it is more like a temporary moment of melancholy. Re-reading what I wrote five years ago upon reaching mid-century, most of it holds up. Jonathan Rauch’s thesis in The Happiness Curve: Why Life Gets Better After 50 bears repeating:
His basic argument, culled from decades of happiness research, is that people hit a trough in their 40s because they were too optimistic in their 20s and get bummed when expectations are not met. Paradoxically, people are happier after 50 because they expect far less and are therefore surprised when things turn out better than expected.
I also think I have navigated the treacherous career passage that Arthur Brooks warned about a few years ago: “if you start a career in earnest at 30, expect to do your best work around 50 and go into decline soon after that.” Brooks’ explanation for how to handle this conundrum makes me happy about my chose profession:
What’s the difference between Bach and Darwin? Both were preternaturally gifted and widely known early in life. Both attained permanent fame posthumously. Where they differed was in their approach to the midlife fade. When Darwin fell behind as an innovator, he became despondent and depressed; his life ended in sad inactivity. When Bach fell behind, he reinvented himself as a master instructor. He died beloved, fulfilled, and—though less famous than he once had been—respected.
The lesson for you and me, especially after 50: Be Johann Sebastian Bach, not Charles Darwin….
As Bach demonstrated, teaching is an ability that decays very late in life, a principal exception to the general pattern of professional decline over time. A study in The Journal of Higher Education showed that the oldest college professors in disciplines requiring a large store of fixed knowledge, specifically the humanities, tended to get evaluated most positively by students. This probably explains the professional longevity of college professors, three-quarters of whom plan to retire after age 65—more than half of them after 70, and some 15 percent of them after 80. (The average American retires at 61.)
In recent years I have found myself enjoying the mentoring dimensions of my job more and more, and, to use the argot Brooks borrows from Raymond Cattell, that is likely because my intelligence has morphed from fluid to crystallized.
I still have a lot of areas of self-improvement that merit further investment. Still, my 55 year-old self finds itself extremely grateful towards my younger self — let’s call him Past Dan. Looking back, Past Dan wound up making a lot of good decisions at a young age that have yielded enormous returns over time. As a kid, Past Dan made friends with people that he is still friends with today. Past Dan took a lot of career risks (switching disciplines, living in Donetsk, choosing academia over policymaking) that worked out really well. Past Dan was smart enough to propose to his wife of 26 years. Past Dan did not need to read advice like this to know that having children sooner rather than later was the right move. Past Dan thought it was a good idea to start blogging and then write a book about theories of international politics and zombies.
I also know deep in my bones how ridiculously immature Past Dan was. That makes it all the more surprising that when the stakes were high, he made great choices! So on my birthday, I mostly want to thank the younger version of myself. Whatever challenges I face in the future, I have the earned wisdom that Past Dan bequeathed me. I will try to make him proud.
I do miss the days when my Wikipedia entry had the date wrong — I found some weird small comfort in the notion that the Internet did not have all my information, not yet.
Note to self: continue to pitch Golden Girls reboot idea starring Ming-Wa Wen, Elizabeth Hurley, Salma Hayek, and Helen Mirren.
Happy Birthday Current Dan (past Dan has not aged). I turned 76 this year and recently retired from 50 years of law practice. I can confirm that the aches increase and the number of prescription meds also increases. However, paradoxically time in some ways had slowed down and in other ways had speeded up (seemingly to Mach levels at times). There is room for much reading, room for sitting outside in the late afternoon watching the sky as well as room for worry. But life continues with a strong wife, three daughters and six grand kids. In one life time we live many different lives each one an adventure. As the dong says: “Who knows where the time goes.” My past self sits with me every day and we calm each other. Cheers.
Happy Birthday, Professor!